she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
