This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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