I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
