so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
