We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
