I just cut my nipple shaving
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
