She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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