Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
