I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
