Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
