At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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