haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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