I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
