the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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