i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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