you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
