i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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