I cockslap morals
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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