i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
