Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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