I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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