This girl is more easily done than said...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
