real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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