I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
