Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
