U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
