arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
