absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
