my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
