I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
