oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
This house was built for laser tag.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
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