My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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