Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
