i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
