Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
