we have officially lost it.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
