sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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