if i died would you start the facebook group?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
