If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
