Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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