I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
