So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
