i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
