he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
