If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
