she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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