I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
