I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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