Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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