You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
