toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
