Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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